my lost childhood

hello everyone, how are you? :)
lately, i feel like i'm a little child once more. like i'm getting back my lost childhood.
when i was a child, i want to be a teenager. i thought it would be cool to go out with friends and just party.
but
now, i feel like i just want to be stuck in my childhood. it's wonderful but at the same time it's a horrible thing to do, deciding to be stuck in childhood while i have some 'teen' things to be worried about. sucks a lot, really.

it's like, when i was a child, i lost some of my childhood experiences and get into the teen world early and now that i'm a teen, i get that lost childhood experience i never had. i have not been going out with my friends and not really active anymore. i'm being more quiet as if i'm a child who are in her own world, discovering new things she never thought existed. i'd rather be stuck with storybooks and drawing, doodling or colouring nowadays which i rarely do before when i'm on my teen years.

it's quite sad, actually because as i'm having back my childhood, everyone seems to want it to be gone. even the happy things i'm embracing in my arms has actually come to an end but i never want it to end as i know it will never truly end if i just keep it going. i'm still 15 and i don't know what would happen in my young adult years. nobody knows, only god.

it sucks if i have to let go this feeling because i don't think it would come easily.
i hope, if i have a children one day, they would not lost their childhood moments.
because i think that childhood moments are just wonderful.
free.